Lelly's Fatty Melt with a side of Irony Salad

Back in October when I stumbled upon this monstrosity, my initial thoughts were eww and *vomit*. After the initial shock though, I vowed to veganise it. Why? Because I have this fixation with occasionally making the trashiest, godawfully unhealthy food around, and sometimes I just have to give in to the urge. What can I say? I'm Scottish, it's in my blood.

Anyway, this was remarkably easy to make. I cut the bread into squares roughly the same size as the burgers and then squished them down to make the bread really thin, and then put a slice of tofutti cheddar and vegideli bacon in. Instead of frying this like the recipe, I foremanised it, and then when the burgers were done grilling, they were put in between the grilled cheese sandwiches along with ANOTHER slice of cheese and ANOTHER slice of bacon. The result was the following artery clogging badness:
If you look closely at the top left hand side you can see the cheese oozing out of the top grilled cheese sandwich. You see that? That's pure atherosclerotic magic, that is! The boy also pointed out that in this picture the sandwich looks like it's poking out it's 'cheesy tongue of artery clogging defiance' at us. You can also see some of the bacon sticking out. Is everyone thoroughly disgusted enough with me yet? Good. For the record, I could only eat half of one of these and the boy ate the rest of my half. Also, don't you just love the irony salad? You know the rules If you're having something as disgustingly bad as this, it's okay, as long as you have something green on your plate too. It totally balances out. Also, everyone knows the rule about how all the calories are in the last bite, and so since the boy ate the last half of mine, I'm fine... Right?