Monday, February 18

I've only gone and done it...

Yep, I've only gone and made the unhealthiest vegan blog post in the history of vegan blogs.
Okay, so as you know, I'm Scottish, and everybody knows Scotland is the land of deep fried battered foods. Back in my school days there used to be a chip van (like a mobile chip shop if you're unfamiliar with the concept) that parked right outside our school gates at lunch time. Thinking back on it now I'm outraged that my school let this happen, but back then I thought it was great. Back in the day you could get two 'pizza crunch' and a can of Irn Bru for a quid. A quid! It was marvelous. A pizza crunch was essentially a quarter of a cheese pizza, fried in batter. Possibly the most unhealthy thing on the planet, but anyhoo. It's something which I've always missed, and ever since I discovered that I can make kick ass batter, I've wanted to try it.

Oh lordy it was good. I cut my pizza into eighths (mainly for pan space issues), and used cheezly mozzarella. I'd wanted to go all out trashy (what's the point in half measures?) and get a cheap white base, just like the chip van used, but there weren't any and we had to use a spelt base. I strangely found a weird sense of smugness in frying spelt, the poster child for health. Anyhoo, yes I used my previously posted batter recipe, and shallow fried. It actually probably would have been a helluva lot easier if I'd deep fried it, but I had a traumatic deep fryer incident in my childhood which will probably never allow me to use one.

In conclusion. Pizza good. Batter good. I could only eat a few bits because I'm still having appetite issues, but I just had a need to do it, and now it's out of my system, for a while anyway.

Oh, if any government bodies are looking to bump off some of those pesky animal rights "terrorists", the way to go is clearly to fund me to open up a vegan chip shop. Do it.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fabulous! I laughed all the way through yuor post- especially at how sheepish you sounded!

Sounds delicious. But - um- filling.

Anonymous said...

When the next self destructive anti-weight loss mood hits me I am SO making this just to see what it's like!

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog, and must say it's one of my new favorites! I'll have to make something battered and deep-fried just to test your batter recipe.

It's pretty refreshing to read a vegan blog that's not all about health food - food is so much more than its nutritional value.

-Anni.

Lelly said...

Everything in moderation. I like to think I have a good mix of things. Sometimes, battering just has to be done. Fact.

The Voracious Vegan said...

I love your blog and I really love this post! Yuuummmm......

DJ said...

batter... so good and yet so bad!

Anonymous said...

Battered & fried pizza? This is madness. Seriously. Who would do such a thing?!

I gotta try that...

Kris said...

You did it!!! :D

Pleeeaaaase open that vegan chip shop...!

Anonymous said...

Oh the artery clogged memories are flooding back to me now....