Lelly's Fatty Melt with a side of Irony Salad

Back in October when I stumbled upon this monstrosity, my initial thoughts were eww and *vomit*. After the initial shock though, I vowed to veganise it. Why? Because I have this fixation with occasionally making the trashiest, godawfully unhealthy food around, and sometimes I just have to give in to the urge. What can I say? I'm Scottish, it's in my blood.

Anyway, this was remarkably easy to make. I cut the bread into squares roughly the same size as the burgers and then squished them down to make the bread really thin, and then put a slice of tofutti cheddar and vegideli bacon in. Instead of frying this like the recipe, I foremanised it, and then when the burgers were done grilling, they were put in between the grilled cheese sandwiches along with ANOTHER slice of cheese and ANOTHER slice of bacon. The result was the following artery clogging badness:
If you look closely at the top left hand side you can see the cheese oozing out of the top grilled cheese sandwich. You see that? That's pure atherosclerotic magic, that is! The boy also pointed out that in this picture the sandwich looks like it's poking out it's 'cheesy tongue of artery clogging defiance' at us. You can also see some of the bacon sticking out. Is everyone thoroughly disgusted enough with me yet? Good. For the record, I could only eat half of one of these and the boy ate the rest of my half. Also, don't you just love the irony salad? You know the rules If you're having something as disgustingly bad as this, it's okay, as long as you have something green on your plate too. It totally balances out. Also, everyone knows the rule about how all the calories are in the last bite, and so since the boy ate the last half of mine, I'm fine... Right?

I've been busy, okay?!

Yeah yeah, so I know you're all bored of this little routine I have where I post regularly for a while and then I stop and can't seem to get my blogging groove back on and so I post apologising. I'm bored of it too, so I won't apologise. I will however inform you of all the new and exciting and scary (oh my!) things going on. Okay? Okay! As my friend the Debatron can attest to (this is really just a test to see if any of my friends read my blog), I like bullet point lists, so without further ado, here is the Bullet Point List of Things Which Keep Lelly Busy:

• Uni! I'm in my final year, and I've somehow managed to be doing two dissertations (it's a whole big thing), so yes, I've been frantically, and often not so frantically working on that.
• My face! You know how my face is filled with fail and will one day have the inside bits replaced? Well on the 30th of December (yes, I had a bloody great New Year tyvm) I had surgery to possibly delay this whole replacing of the inside bits thing. They froze my joints with a cryoprobe which should supposedly freeze the nerves, and thus freeze the pain. So far, I'm in as much pain as I was before AND I have the post surgical pain AND I have a rather hefty scar AND I have a hefty bald patch. Oh yes, they shaved my hair and didn't tell me they were going to do this until afterwards. The scoundrels! This kept me busy and off the solids for a while.
• In December I had a big scary interview and presentation to do for a postgraduate course in teaching. So preparing for that, and then afterwards constantly refreshing the page to see if I'd been successful was rather time consuming.
• Guess what guys, I got in! AND they waived their usual condition that biology students must have a second class degree or above for me. They just liked me that much. But well, who doesn't? So yes, I know what I'm going to be when I grow up again!
• Is this a food blog? I think it just might be. Let the food blogging commence!

At Christmas I was in Glasgow and demanded that my mother helped me find some of the Grassingtons products. By demanded, I of course mean that I asked nicely. Anyway, I got some of the steaks, the chicken things, and the meatballs. So far I've tried the first two.
I actually really really liked this, which I suppose is odd considering I don't think I've ever eaten steak. It's tasty, tender, and handy to have in the freezer. From what I remember it wasn't actually that expensive either.
The chicken thing comes already marinated in some tomato thing. I served it atop some bulgur wheat, with roast potato salad on the side. Oh yeah, and some balsamic glaze on top. Hmmm... What to say about this? Well! Words cannot describe how very much I disliked this. It made me feel ill. I don't know if it was too chickeny, but I don't remember eating chicken so I wouldn't know, but it had these weird fibre bits that thoroughly freaked the everloving bejeesus out of me. DO. NOT. WANT. In fact, looking at the picture is making me feel a bit ill. *shudder*

Anyway, in other news, remember how I made a companion cube cake for my friend a while back? Well, someone who was also at that party (although I have to admit I do not know too well) liked the cake so much he requested I make him a cake for his birthday. Did I mention he wasn't vegan? Booyah. Anyway, he played it a bit fast and loose with the instructions, just that he wanted the same lemon cake. As previously mentioned I do not know this boy too well. Things I did know: 1) He's a nurse. 2) He likes Batman. 3) He does not seem to approve of our trend of naming people after the shapes of their heads. Anyway, this brief led to this cake:
I very very nearly put a little red cross on the bat logo, but I stopped myself. Why? I was thinking "if this was a professional cake and I did that, would it end up on the bizarre section of cake wrecks?" Oh also, the mess of blue and yellow border was all pretty squiggly lines, but then I couldn't fit the cake in my fridge and the icing melted a bit. Boo. Oh well. I have another cake to make soon for the boy (you know, the boy). Cakes seem to be like buses, you don't make one for ages, and then three come along at once. Err, or something.